well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
