i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
