Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
don't judge my taste in strippers
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You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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