Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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