somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to rekindle our bromance
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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