I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
