ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize