he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
