Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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