why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
