I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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