I have demons in me.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize