Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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