The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We need a shit load of segways right now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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