i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
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Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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