So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
