So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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