Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
