Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
