If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
