I can feel you judging me through the phone.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
