friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
