I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize