Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
