currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
