Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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