I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize