you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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