She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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