So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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