Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.