That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call