if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?