i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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