He had one of those small greek statue penises
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
