It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
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I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
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2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."