RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome