yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't think brook has ever known best
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?