Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
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Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive