dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.