Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
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Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
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My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.