you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
