Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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