By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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