I didn't shave. On purpose
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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