idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
