We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
