The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
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he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
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With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There are leaves in my underwear?
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