apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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