ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
