and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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