my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Someone signed my nipple.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
