If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
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No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
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I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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