They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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