I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
