theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
