my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize