my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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