People in love make me want to vomit
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
