you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
