only if we run a train.
done.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
