I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize