he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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