Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Mom said you looked used
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
