you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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