SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
